I do believe. I do believe. I do believe in a positive attitude. But I am conflicted because I also believe in knowing the truth about the world, and it can be downright depressing. Do I stop learning about the world? Climate change? Fracking? GMOs? Unending wars? Poverty? Evils of education reform?
I just read about how Michelle Rhee pays Bangladeshi click farms to"like" her Students First Facebook page. Oh, and don't get me started on the New York charter school tantrums, and Bill Gates' egocentric efforts, and Common Core and the founder's bad attitude, and the inherent profit motives therein. It's just one outrageous thing after another. Does it matter? Does it matter out here in the middle of the Pacific? Is my island state insulated from all this madness? Well ...
We are a Race to the Top state, which means we had to adopt the Common Core and teacher evaluation tied to student achievement. Our contract talks hinged on a successful negotiation regarding this evaluation. As a member of the board of the union at the time, I had to sell this to members, that this was a good thing, that we negotiated a joint committee to assure that this system would be fair, reliable, based on research. It's because of an insistence that our evaluation not be solely based on standardized testing, as it is in some states, that we have these multiple measures. The unintended consequence of multiple measures is an increased work load and stress load. We stress about the Tripod student Survey, we stress about the Danielson observations, we stress about the testing, we stress about Core professionalism. So, yes, education "reform" is here too, breaking our backs and our spirits. This is a trial year for the new evaluation system, but it is getting harder and harder to believe that it will be any different next year. Yet, we hope our feedback and survey responses will make a difference. Our energy should be going into the classroom, not into these superfluous matters.
Then there's the classroom. I have a student who has figured out, consciously or not, if he makes enough of a disruption in class, he'll get kicked out, and so he doesn't have to do any work. That's just one of my challenges. There's the challenge of not just teaching students how to solve problems but to explain their reasoning. There are the challenges of emerging hormones, note-passing, spitball-playing, bullying, teasing, arguing and disruption-denying. There's the challenge that the content is pretty darn difficult and though I try, I just can't make it fun and games all the time. Sometimes, you just have to watch me do this division problem using zeroes to extend the dividend! And then you have to do it. Because that's what you learn in fifth grade.
Positive? I thought celebrating pi day was a positive plan, a diversion from the curriculum. But that's me being a math nerd. My habitual disruptor didn't come to school, so I don't know if this would have passed his test for "not boring." I realized as I was teaching, maybe they don't think it's as cool as I think it is. Oh well. I can only do so much.
My point? I believe in quality public education that encourages creativity, compassion, and critical thinking and I I don't believe in the Common Core. Though I believe in accountability, I don't believe in putting teachers under more scrutiny than necessary. Though I believe in knowing where kids are in their educational needs, I don't believe in high stakes standardized testing. Though I believe in engaging kids in order to teach them, I don't believe that I need to entertain kids all the time. These are some of the conflicting forces that I deal with on a daily basis.
I keep seeing memes on Facebook that have to do with having a positive attitude in some way or another. Though sometimes, I do feel like woe-is-me Eeyore, I really am the eternal optimist, never do I even entertain the possibility of hopelessness. I don't think I can ever be a Tigger, but I can try to be more even-keeled and balanced, more Pooh-ish maybe. On the other hand, if this quote encapsulates Eeyore, I'm Eeyore and proud.
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